Incredible Me

It may be half-term for our students and their families, but we continue to learn new skills!

Today, we're recapping and learning more about depression in relation to autism in children and teenagers, as well as the use of CBT techniques.

Parents often tell me about the behaviour systems used in their children's classrooms. Children's names are moved from the sun to the clouds, or from green zone to red zone, depending on whether their behaviour is thought to be acceptable or not. Sometimes parents say they think they aren’t a problem and no one takes them too seriously - particularly if their child is ‘well behaved’ and not prone to worrying, but if they have a child who struggles at school, they will tell me about the distress caused by these charts.

Parents tell me that children wake at night, worrying about being moved off the sun. They tell me that children chew their sleeves to pieces about minor infractions which might result in their being demoted, and thus sometimes losing a class prize, or the right to participate in a class activity.

These systems are based on the idea that we can change children's behaviour by making them feel bad when they do something wrong. So if there's a child who can't sit still, put them in the clouds. They will feel ashamed, and in an effort to avoid that feeling in the future, they'll soon learn to stay in their place.

If a child gets angry or upset, move them from the green zone to the red zone and they'll soon learn to behave, goes the reasoning. They'll want to get back to green. Everyone can see, because the charts are up on the wall.

The whole system assumes that the reason for their behaviour is that they just aren't trying hard enough, and that we can make them try harder by putting their name up there for all to see. It assumes that the child has control over their behaviour and that the real issue is their lack of motivation. The behaviour chart provides an external motivation to change.

This treats behaviour as if it is something separate from the child, when in fact it is more of a way that they express themselves, particularly when they are younger. Behaviour shows us how well a child is coping. It shows us whether the demands of the classroom are manageable. Within any classroom full of children will be a wide range of maturity and with maturity comes the ability to control behaviour. There will also be a wide range of experience - for some children, the non-academic (and academic) requirements of school are much harder than for others. Some children find school, and the school environment, much easier to manage that others.
The public charts reward those who find school easiest. Visibly, so everyone can see who they are. The ones who find it harder are humiliated, and it's often the same few kids who are always in this boat. The children will quickly learn who they are. We know from research that very young children can rank their peers by how well behaved they are, and how popular they are.

The ones at the bottom of the charts are those who are developmentally in a different place to their peers. Those who find it hardest to concentrate and to control their emotions. Those who are struggling with being away from their Mum all day and who are exhausted by the afternoon. Those who are the youngest in their year group. Those are the ones who get put on the rain clouds day after day.
These charts put the onus to change on the children who already find things hardest. It tells them, again and again, that they are a problem and they aren't trying hard enough. It ignores context and why a child might be behaving like this. Instead they are shamed.

These charts are meant to modify behaviour. They’re an intervention, and if they worked, they should only be around for a few short weeks. All the children would 'get it' & there would be no reason to move anyone onto the clouds again. If a child is being put on the clouds repeatedly, then it's not working. They aren’t learning what they are meant to be learning.

They aren’t just not working, but they are probably causing damage. Using public humiliation to control behaviour has side effects. It causes anxiety, even for those who never move from the sun (because they might do one day) and it causes some children to be marked out as the 'bad' ones.

These experiences stay with some children for the rest of their lives. They think of themselves as 'not trying hard enough' or 'lazy'. Some of them will become more anxious and will start struggling to attend school. Others will hold it all in and then explode at home.

Would you like it if your name was moved to the clouds for your friends to see to see each time you got annoyed or forgot to empty the cat litter tray? Would it help you behave or would you feel resentful and angry?

If it wouldn't work for you, why are we doing it to our kids?

Illustration Eliza Fricker (Missing The Mark)

Always keeping our skills fresh and looking at how we can improve upon what we do.

Today, we're taking part in this virtual conference on empowering neurodiverse children and young people 😊

Good to see we're leading the way with good practice 👍

Looking forward to this great virtual conference on empowering neurodiverse children and young people.

FREE to join 😊

Virtual Neurodiversity Conference - Empowering Your Neurodiverse Child To Shine Join us for a day of four expert-led presentations sharing advice and expertise, celebrating our neurodiverse children, and empowering them to be the best version of themselves.

Are you a teacher who is passionate about supporting the learning, emotional wellbeing and empowerment of children and young people, but have had enough of working within a broken system?

Do you want to have better work/life balance, all while doing your job the way it needs to be done to bring out the very best in the children and young people you teach?

Are you looking for greater freedom, both within and outside of your work whilst being well-supported?

Do you have experience of working with children and young people with SEND, particularly neurodiversity?

Incredible Me is looking for brilliant teachers who are passionate about being a part of raising generations of happy, healthy and inspired children and young people who go on to build great futures and to make the world a better place. We are particularly interested in hearing from primary teachers, as well as those who have experience of teaching maths and/or science at secondary level.

We want to hear from you if:
✏️ You love working with children and young people
✏️You know that wellbeing is essential to achievement
✏️ You like to work creatively to bring out the best in your students
✏️ You understand that tests are not the best - or only - way to check understanding
✏️ You want to work 1-1 with children and young people, at a speed and in a way which works best for them
✏️ You know that additional needs should not be an obstacle to a child reaching their full potential
✏️ You believe that happy, healthy, empowered children go on to make the world a better place and you want to be a part of that journey

If this sounds like you, get in touch and see whether working with us is the right fit for you.

Please feel free to tag your education friends and please share.

Incredible Me THE HOME OF EMOTIONAL WELLBEING, LEARNING AND GLOBAL EMPOWERMENT FOR CHILDREN, YOUNG PEOPLE AND THE ADULTS IN THEIR LIVES.

Does your child struggle to attend school?
Is is simply too much for them to cope with?
Would you like help to understand why and to best support your child?

SUMMER ONLINE TRAINING

We are hosting a series of 8 online training sessions over the summer. They are all co-produced with families who have lived experience, so everything we suggest has already worked well with other children in our community. The first one is this Thursday!

They'll cost £8.50 each, which includes 4 week's access to the recording. We've had such incredible feedback from parents who have already taken part, and we now know of around 4,000 families in our community who have managed to help their child significantly reduce their violence or stop it altogether.

If you want to join us for any of these training sessions, please follow the link below, it will take you to the information page where you can read what each session will be about. You will also be able to buy your ticket from there.

https://www.newboldhope.com/page/295181

As an instructor in First Aid for Youth Mental Health, as well as a Place2Be Community Mental Health Champion for kids, over the years, I have worked to support many young people who are self-harming, as well as supporting their families in supporting them.

This article about self-harm from the perspective of a young person clarifies some of the misconceptions around self-harm. The follow-on articles at the end of the article are worth a read too.

Finally, if you know a young person who is self-harming, please know that we are here to help and ensure that they - and you - get the support needed. Please get in touch.

https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/blog/ten-things-i-wish-people-knew-about-self-harm/?fbclid=IwAR0uX0SBhOFEnbnlF5K3E87eGCiN4C7yNOQuojxlHdJGOKufZHdJDOr76pE

Ten Things I Wish People Knew About Self-harm | Blog Self-harm is still often misunderstood. Lucas, 19, shares ten things he wishes people knew about it to help anyone struggling.

It's important to be able to find joy on the rainy days as well as the sunny ones 💗

Happy half-term everyone!
Enjoy the sunshine today! 🌞