Heidi Cole - Confidence In The AIr

Sometimes I might just be crazy enough to believe that we can actually change the world.

Not through anything dramatic, but through something deeply human: connection.

I’ve seen the effect of it in the private jet world. And in luxury hospitality spaces. It’s the emotion behind every touchpoint, every moment that says, you matter.

Recently, I had the honour of creating and delivering workshops for senior managers at a global luxury brand. They had excellent training, but recognised they wanted more emotional resonance and etiquette consistently.

The fact is, we might say and do the right things, but we are an emotional tuning fork. What we personally bring is felt. It’s also knowing and experiencing the deeper why so it’s consistent. These are often overlooked in most high-end trainings.

To teach at this level and know the impact it can create is an honour for me. It’s something I deeply care about because I believe every single one of us has the power to make the world better, through service, one genuine moment at a time.

One participant kindly shared:

“Your generosity and presence made the training unforgettable. I left inspired, more confident, and deeply moved to bring that same excellence, empathy, and presence into every moment of my work.”

It was humbling for me to know they could reconnect with what genuine service truly feels like.

Another shared:

“May we keep building yes, better business experiences, but better human beings for the experience on Earth.”

She recognised it too; the ripple effect goes far beyond work. And how beautiful is that?? I mean, seriously. This is what changes the world.

The emotional imprint that someone takes with them is what true luxury is, and it’s that feeling that creates loyalty and has a far reaching ripple effect beyond the moment.

What I know from decades of experience is that the higher we go, the more this human approach matters. And actually, it gives me faith in humanity that this part makes the biggest impact! Right?

“The world changes according to the way people see it, and if you can alter, even by a millimetre, the way people look at reality, then you can change it.” - James Baldwin

So, on changing the world for the better through service, who’s with me?? ❤️

Don’t apply for your next role until you read this first.

So because I teach how things feel, I’m aware this may not feel great to read, but it could make all the difference next time you apply.

It’s rarely about experience, or suitability. More often, it’s about how you show up in interactions. Most people don’t even realise it's a thing.

So, I created an antidote for this. But let me first share what stood out most in my recent recruitment drive I’ve just completed.

Here are a few of the most common themes I noticed (and how you can change them):



Feel human:
Never underestimate how much warmth & personality matter. Many emails were technically correct, ticked boxes but felt cold & lacked genuine care. Think about what the person reading it might genuinely appreciate. This is a people-focussed industry; professionalism married with genuine care & warmth are make you stand out. Two out of over 100 applications nailed this.

Post Covid & AI days, people crave real & it creates trust. Professional and cold is the past. Connection is now and the future.



Your photo
If your expression feels overtly sensual, or maybe it looks sad or indifferent, it can send the wrong message. Convey the energy clients would be delighted to see as they meet you; open, kind & approachable. Even without a photo attached, you will be viewed on socials so ensure they fit this criiteria.



Respond to what’s asked
I spent hours chasing details already listed in the advert. Most recruiters won’t do this, they’ll simply delete & move on. Even if your CV says “great attention to detail,” missing what’s requested shows the opposite. Ensure you include all that's asked before you hit send.



Keep CV to one page
It’s possible. Mine is, even with twenty years of experience. Two pages often feel like a basket of ingredients rather than the finished cake. Keep it focused on what matters.



Only send what’s requested
Passports, visas and documents aren’t needed unless asked. It can feel like trying to convince & creates unnecessary large files.



Personalise your email
Avoid “Dear Hiring Manager" or similar. As a CFA, being a great researcher & personalisation are required traits. Find the name where possible and reference the role; shows initiative & care.

These might sound small, but they make a huge difference.

If any of this feels familiar, or you’ve been wondering why you’re not generally hearing back from roles that seem a perfect fit, please don’t feel disheartened.

It's exactly why I created Nail Your Jet Interviews; human, in-depth teachings to show up with confidence, realness and genuine warmth so you can finally be seen for the wonderful uniqueness you bring, in every interaction. Pop me a message if you'd like the link.

How you show up speaks volumes. Awareness of what connects and what doesn’t is everything.

Hope these insights truly help on your journey ahead and thank you all that applied 💕

Ever heard someone say all the right words, but felt something was off?

Maybe you couldn't put your finger on it, but you didn't trust them.

Maybe someone greets you on the phone with a great spiel, but feels like they don’t mean it? Or maybe videos, where someone is saying everything “just right.” Perfect words, but feels rehearsed, disconnected, or trying to convince? It ticks boxes, but underneath there is a feeling that isn’t right.

We always feel first. Then the brain looks for logical reasons to back it up. As neuroscientist Antonio Damasio said, “We are not thinking machines that feel, we are feeling machines that think.”

And here is the truth. In interviews, this is exactly what your interviewer is experiencing, whether you are in the room or on video. More and more companies are moving towards initial video interviews as very quickly, they feel whether you are warm and confident. Your words may even be perfect, but if the feeling isn't right, it’s a no.

If you come across as rehearsed / trying to convince / hoping they will like you, it signals a lack of self trust and confidence. These are qualities that the role requires & without realising it, you could already be communicating the opposite. Rubbish, right?

So, what works instead? Incase you are asked "tell us about yourself and what you personally bring", try this:

Feeling:

Imagine talking to a great friend. Be warm & genuine. THIS creates that “aaaah yes” feeling.

Words:

Briefly share past highlights. Don’t regurgitate your CV.

Talk about key things you’ve learned, what you’re excited about or working towards that aligns with the new role. This creates the logical 'Yes”.

Lastly, add in something unique about you, even a hobby or passion, and pull out a quality that brings something special to the cabin. 100%, there will be something in it relating to a gift you personally bring. This makes you not just a yes, but a unique yes. This is how you stand out.

Speaking about what you love btw also elevates your energy, and that lifts the whole interaction. What’s yours?

Most importantly, from this framework here in brief, the key message is to stop performing & start connecting. Connection IS where the magic is x

PS: If we haven't met yet, I'm Heidi. After 20 years in private aviation, I mentor individuals and consult with luxury brands. Over the years I've met so many who have tons to offer this industry, yet often find barriers that hold them back from the roles they deserve. I created Nail Your Jet Interviews to successfully melt those barriers. My continued personal development work, human behaviour studies & two decades of industry experience is poured into this learning, so you can nail this too. This framework in depth is just one of 108 impactful lessons inside, where I am currently personally assessing your video interview and your CV too. Get it here.
https://www.confidenceintheair.com/nail-your-jet-interviews-course

It pays to be kind...

It goes so much further than you can imagine. Of course, in hospitality it should be a given, it is how we show up. But when people do not bring kindness (I have witnessed this, have you?), I always wonder, what are they even doing in hospitality?

Anyway, here's the thing. Beyond being a professional necessity in corporate aviation, kindness is a human need. It is what people remember about you long after the interaction is over. It is what people want more of around them. And the ripple effect of it? We can never fully know.

I have seen it in my own career. Back in 2008, I was flying out of Abu Dhabi. The pilots I flew with went on to live in Australia and the USA. Years later, when somebody asked around for a recommendation in Europe, my name came up. Kindness is a big part of our reputation. The amount of times I have personally asked for recommendations and heard, “yes, they are great in the cabin, but…” and there is always that missing piece. It is always about who we are, not just what we do. And that one recommendation 10 years later led to still ongoing opportunities as far as Australia, which blows my mind because I live in London.

For those who have been bullied when showing up with kindness, I see you. Sometimes kindness can be looked upon as a weakness, an easy target, but I cannot begin to tell you it is one of your greatest strengths. To show up with care and vulnerability alongside professionalism is what makes you memorable.

Do not get me wrong, you absolutely need the skills to do the job well. Meeting the high expectations of this industry is a baseline. But how you are will always speak louder than what you do, especially in rooms when you are not there. That is how long-term success is built. Not by stepping over others, but by supporting, uplifting and sprinkling kindness like fairy dust.

And hospitality is not something we just switch on at work / when being watched. It is who we are. It shows up everywhere. When you chat to the barista at the coffee shop (cue have had a good few free coffees), when you greet the person checking you in at the airport (yes, I've even had upgrades), when you offer your seat on a crowded train or help someone find their way. Those small moments are where kindness shines, and every single time it uplifts.... who knows how far that ripple effect goes.

Take it from someone who has been in this industry for 20 years (and deems myself a fairly kind human being), kindness will carry you further than you can ever imagine. Not just in our role, but in our everyday lives.

With kindness, the world truly becomes your oyster. Limitations begin to melt away, and what once felt impossible already starts happening.

"Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." Mark Twain

Human connection is the rare currency

I once worked with a very discerning, kind lady who owned her own aircraft. She expected very high standards, like many.

Early on, I completely messed up. Her entire meal rolled down the carpet from the galley door and I wanted the ground to swallow me. But in that moment, instead of worrying about how I screwed up / never being called back again, I put my attention on her. How she felt mattered most.

I was only a freelancer. Before we even landed, she offered me a permanent job. I didn’t even know there was a job going.

Later that year, when I needed cover, I recommended someone trained at one of the world’s top butler schools. Her fancy skills and service impeccable. And yet she did not last. The same client simply said, “She did not feel right.”

It confused me at first. Why choose me after a mistake, but let go of someone who was technically far more perfect. Over time I realised the answer.

So often I see people on a cycle of never-ending up-skilling:
“If I just do one more course, then I will finally stand out. Something will stick”. Familiar thought?

But here is the truth. Once we reach a certain level of competency, where we have a strong, dependable, elegant skill set that allows us to do the job well under pressure, it's already enough to be taken seriously.

However, what creates lasting impact is is how someone feels in our presence.

This has been continually proven to me in my research, being mentored, in my public speaking courses, and in my own career. My client chose me after I dropped her meal, but did not keep someone who was technically perfect.

What I’ve discovered: for the most discerning individuals in the world, the choice is about who feels right. The higher we go, the more human needs matter.

In luxury hospitality, what stays with people is not the luxury trappings; tbh, in the private jet world, designer this and that is their everyday, unlike most of ours.

What cannot be bought off the shelf is whether they feel safe, calm and personally valued in our presence. Loyalty is the result, because it’s rarely available.

So let me ask you this. The last time you did a trial flight, interviewed, or worked with this level of customer, were you focused on getting everything you were saying / doing perfect? Or on how you were making the customer feel? It can be tricky, I know.

Mastering this is how we, and every customer service business truly thrives. It all begins with us.

Love to hear your thoughts x

Running from discomfort is running from your dreams….

When I flew for Virgin Atlantic years ago, I had a habit. If life on the ground felt tough, I would escape on a trip, hoping my problems would magically disappear while I was gone ✈️🙂. In the industry we called it being “a runner.” That was me.

But the truth is, running never worked. The discomfort was always waiting for me at the door when I came home with my suitcase.

Over the years of investing in so much personal development, I have learned discomfort is not the enemy. It is the gift. Because the stuff we dream of almost always sits on the other side of it.

Take confidence. You can read every book on it, but confidence is not built by reading. It only becomes real when we are challenged, when times feel hardest, and we take action anyway. Each time we walk through that emotional fire something shifts. We grow. And the more we take action in those moments of discomfort, the stronger our confidence becomes.

That is how hospitality consultancy, speaking and recruitment found me. They were never part of a grand plan. Every single one of them found me, and I simply responded to the invitations. They arrived because I kept leaning into discomfort and growing in myself, no matter what I was faced with.

Discomfort is not a sign to turn back. It is the sign you are in a growth opportunity, so close to that dream worthy stuff.

And when the discomfort is high, if it is also something that makes your heart sing, keep going.

Or, as P. T. Barnum put it so perfectly in The Greatest Showman (one of my all-time favourite movies, if you have not seen it, you are missing out):
“Comfort is the enemy of progress.”
💕🙏

I’m fussy. I really appreciate knockout service.

I’m not new to high-end establishments, the kind of places that promise to be unforgettable. Since 2005 I’ve worked on private jets with royalty and some of the most discerning people in the world (well, not quite so fancy when I’m standing in the galley eating passenger leftovers. WYK, YK 😉).

But more often than you’d expect, I’ve walked away not wowed, but feeling very out of place.

Not because of the environment or the elevated standards.

But because I didn’t feel like I mattered as a person, only as part of a deliverable process.

That’s the piece so many luxury environments still miss.

Because it’s not just about how fancy the food is, or how prestigious the environment, or even the thoughtful little gestures. It’s about how someone actually shows up. The energy they carry.

Are they calm, gracious, present? Do they leave you feeling like you belong there?

Or are they caught up in the process, trying so hard to get everything right that it stops being about the client at all?

I’ve seen it so often. That energy of “I hope they’ll like me, I hope I’ll get it right, I hope they’ll employ me. I need to say the right thing, I can’t put a foot wrong.” While the intention is good, it shifts the balance. The client ends up feeling processed rather than cared for.

Here’s the real secret… you can nail the welcome, craft the perfect ending, throw in all the wow-factor moments, but if you don’t feel good to be around in between, it doesn’t land.

I once witnessed this with a lady who invested a huge amount in a world-renowned butler course. Trust me, she had the perfect welcome, the perfect ending, and everything in between. She ticked every box with impeccable skills and wow-factor service. Yet she was let go, simply because she didn’t feel right.

And this is the difference between doing hospitality and truly embodying it. Most people only ever learn it to a surface level, and that is where it stays. The missing piece is how it actually feels. I love teaching this because this is always the piece that changes it all.

That’s how powerful energy is. It shapes every how others feel. It always speaks.

Have you felt it too? Those rare moments when you walk into a space and you exhale. You feel it in your body. You instantly feel at ease, like you belong there. Not as a guest being processed, but as a human being who matters.

Of course, elegance matters. The details, the presentation, the refinement. But those are just the baseline.

What really moves people is what you bring to the table.

Your tone, your energy, your presence.

It’s you that has the potential to bring the experience to life. It’s you that makes the difference.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson said:

“Who you are speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you are saying.”

Let your genuine care for the customer guide the process, not the process itself.

Hope this helps x

When I did a weekend TV presenting course years ago, I remember walking in and instantly feeling out of place.

Everyone else was louder, chattier, bubblier. They dominated the room with their energy.
And I sat there thinking: I haven’t got what it takes to be here.

But when it came time to step in front of the camera, everything shifted.
The crew actually stopped filming and said:
“You’re the most natural on camera, because we really feel who you are.”

That moment taught me a great deal and gave me much confidence in giving this pipe dream a go.

Shortly after, I did a 2 week TV internship presenting on a pet show, moved to Dubai and it led to a two-year TV presenting role with a TV company, something I was able to do alongside my month-on, month-off role flying as a corporate flight attendant. But I seriously had no idea what I was doing; me and a cameraman who spoke barely any english had to go off and create content. In fact, it went so well they started throwing everything at me from the shopping channel to Hollywood red carpet interviews.

It was an incredible experience I truly loved and the UAE was incredibly forward thinking; giving me amazing opportunities ordinarily I may never have had otherwise.

What I realised was this: the most important part of a T.V interview wasn’t how polished or professional I sounded, but whether I was able to make the person opposite me feel comfortable.
When they did, they softened. They relaxed. They felt ease and trust. And that’s when the best interviews happened.

That ethos of creating comfort, safety and connection became my zone of genius.
It’s how I lead onboard today in every aspect of what I do, and it’s what I teach to others, in my Confidence in the Air mentorship, and in luxury CX consulting.

At the heart of it, confidently excelling in private aviation or any luxury industry isn’t about performance.
It’s about the feeling we create.

✨ The confidence to pause.
✨ The confidence to respond, not rush.
✨ The courage to bring what feels like our real selves into each interaction, rather than perform.

That feeling is what clients notice first. It speaks before any words are spoken, before we’ve even begun any elegant service. It’s all about who we are.

If you really want to make an impact in luxury industries, how you make people feel is vital. It’s a piece that’s often missed, because so much focus gets placed on the elevated “doing” aspects. Yet the human aspect is what makes the biggest difference in whether we truly thrive in the long run.

If you’re trying to make it in the industry, I encourage you to focus on this: it’s not only about what you do, but who you are when you do it. That’s the part people will always remember.

✨ “Quiet confidence speaks louder than any boast ever could.” Brendon Burchard

“If you’re not getting it right Heidi, well, there’s no hope for us.”

That’s what came up in a recent group coaching session with me recently & we laughed.

We were talking about how, as I’ve stepped into next-level opportunities I’ve been invited to take on this year, I’ve also had to get honest about what I could no longer carry.

Letting go of things can look like failure.

Letting go of things for me meant a clean-up; in my community group, in my professional commitments beyond flying & even in my own expectations of myself in how this year will pan out.

Magic happens in the pauses, in the gaps… & I needed to create those. To breathe in, but also exhale.

Sometimes, people look like they have it all together as they are managing it all. But at what price? Exhaustion / burnout? I’ve been very close, and it’s not fun.

In trying to be everything to everyone, we end up being nothing to no-one, or ourselves.

Was it a hard decision to let go of certain things? Yes. Have I upset people? I’m sure I have. Have I honoured myself so I’m not pouring from an empty cup? Yes! Have I got it all right? No, it’s a work in progress.

Success isn’t about how much we can juggle, it’s about having the courage to put things down so we can show up stronger in what matters. And sometimes that’s the most important work we can do to align with the opportunities and people who share our vision, commitment and passion.

Trust is built through radical honesty, not just with others, but firstly with ourselves. It all starts within.

As I share my own experiences, I wonder, has this sparked something in you?
Maybe a nudge to re-evaluate where your time, energy & heart are going.

Because when we let go of dilutes or drains us, we create space for what lights us up. We can breathe, re-evaluate & see where we may need to change course.

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” Brené Brown

As a recovering people pleaser, that’s a continual journey for me.

So, here’s to building a version of success for us all that feels like home, on the inside as much as the outside x

Have you thought about working with a mentor?

It’s a powerful step, but it’s not for everyone.
Mentorship isn’t a magic wand and it’s not about being rescued. It’s about being ready to show up, take guidance, and take full responsibility for your growth.

For me, working with a mentor was life-changing. Not because I was convinced into it, but because I was drawn to them.

It was far from a logical decision, my bank balance wasn’t up for it, but it was a knowing feeling.

There was a calm integrity in how they showed up, grounded and real. They weren’t loud and didn’t put others down to stand out. That confident, grounded, elegant presence stayed with me, and it’s the same presence I aim to bring to the people I now mentor.

Even though I was already very successful on paper, I realised much of it was built on “fake confidence.” Losing my job, then Covid, revealed deep cracks. I needed to rebuild on a solid foundation, not keep going on a fragile front, otherwise I’m only at my best in the good times.

The people I see succeed in mentorship have one thing in common, they’re coachable. They’re willing to stretch, revisit the foundations, and stay with the process even when it’s uncomfortable, because sometimes it is. They let go of rigid timelines or perceived “correct” pathways and focus on getting the core pieces right, because when you do, the results start showing up externally in ways you never imagined.

Our attitude to being mentored, and then how we show up in our role, is everything. No amount of fancy technical skill can paper over a shaky foundation. We need both.

Luxury industries aren’t about speed, they are about presence, depth, emotional maturity, and alignment. The most meaningful transformations come from kindness, humility, and genuine care - not only to others but especially towards ourselves.

There are many incredible mentors out there, each with their own style whom I deeply respect. No matter who you choose, thriving in anyone’s mentorship comes down to showing up ready to grow, imperfectly but wholeheartedly, and staying the course until the foundations are solid? That’s when the real magic happens.

Everyone is on a different journey, but it could look like:

Are you able to have difficult or uncomfortable conversations, or do you disappear in avoidance? Are you able to respond to situations with courage & kindness rather than react? Are you able to show up feeling more like you in interactions, or is it how you think you should be?

These are all solid, foundational traits we need to thrive in high-end customer service, because it’s about who we are.

People feel it through our vibe, our tone of voice, our words and our actions….. and things begin to shift.

"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier

If you knew that the real magic of success wasn’t in racing ahead, but in strengthening your roots first, how would you show up differently starting today? Might you be kinder to yourself?

Hope this helps x