One Hundred Toys

Last time we talked about what to avoid when praising our children. Today, it’s time for what many of you have been waiting for ✨

👉 How actually should you praise your child?

Your task is to help them develop a sense of self-worth that’s independent of achievements, failures, and the approval of others.

❗️Describe facts and leave your Child the freedom to evaluate their own achievements.

Use our examples - how to be an objective commentator and strengthen your child’s internal motivation.

🔸Of course, also be an objective commentator on difficult experiences, so that your child knows that you are there for both their achievements and frustrating moments.

Maria

                                         

Did you know that how we praise our children can impact their confidence and development?

That is why it is so important to avoid a kind of praise, which often comes so easily to each of us.

Here are some pitfalls to avoid when offering praise:
1️⃣ Avoid empty praise: Saying „Good job” without specifics can make praise lose its meaning and impact.
2️⃣ Don’t focus only on outcomes: Acknowledge effort and progress rather than solely emphasizing results.
3️⃣ Avoid giving evaluations: It can lead her to seek external validation rather than developing an intrinsic motivation for learning and growth.
4️⃣ Steer clear of comparison: Comparing your child to others can create unnecessary pressure and undermine their self-esteem.

Using those may reinforce certain behaviors and motivate your child, but it will foster external motivation.

It also strengthens the need for external praise to validate their actions and can heighten disappointment when faced with a loss in a competition, a poor grade, or simply a lack of praise.

Quality over quantity makes all the difference in nurturing their confidence and resilience 😉

🔸 When your child falls down, it’s natural to want to comfort them with phrases that might minimize their discomfort.

However, it’s more helpful to acknowledge the child’s experience, offer support, and encourage them to communicate their emotions.

👉 Rather than saying ‚nothing happened’, try saying:

⭐️ „It’s okay to cry if you’re in pain.”

⭐️ „I’m here to support you.”

⭐️ „Do you have any ideas on what might help you feel better?”

⭐️ „I know it hurts. Would you like a hug?”

For us adults, it may sometimes seem obvious, but our children need reassurance of safety and closeness from a parent. Accepting emotions helps develop emotional intelligence and resilience.

     

Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

💥 Throwing objects is a common behavior among young children and can arise from various reasons.

What should you do when your child starts throwing toys or other items during regular play? How should you respond?

🔸Let’s talk about a case when your child doesn’t seem to be in strong emotions, but rather is throwing things as part of exploring, testing, and playing.

👉 Here are some universal tips:

- Stay Calm: Speak in a calm, gentle, but firm tone.

- Use Personal Language: Explain why something is important to you or why you didn’t like a particular behavior, instead of just issuing commands or prohibitions

- Describe Situations Objectively: Describe facts, avoid judgments.

- Understand the Need: Consider the underlying need behind the behavior, such as dealing with frustration, testing reactions, or aiming for a target.

                                     

🔸 When they fall, what we say matters!

These phrases might seem reassuring, but in reality they distance you from your child.

🔹 Instead of invalidating their experiences or distracting them choose healthy alternatives that validate their feelings and help them cope.

We will provide a few examples in the upcoming posts 😊

Author: Magda Ge**er

 

✨ Things you must do to encourage Independent Play Part II

We have already mentioned the importance of Independent Play in previous posts. Let’s take a closer look on what we can do to encourage it.

Often, we don’t realize just how competent and creative our children can be. It’s good to give a child a bit of autonomy and watch their potential unfold. Children have a natural urge to explore and a wealth of amazing ideas.

Here’s what you can do:
🔸Be prepared for strong emotions - offer your calmness
🔸Arrange toys intentionally
🔸Replace answers with questions
🔸Show them that their solo activities are just as valuable as those shared with others

                                     

👉 A common misconception about play is that it is simply for fun, an enjoyable diversion.
But play is much more than that. At its core, play is about learning.

🧠 It’s how children instinctively practice the skills and qualities they will need as adults: motor skills, interpersonal skills, emotional development. They learn to persevere, to invent and to think critically.

⭐️ Play certainly is fun. But fun is a by-product. It’s nature’s way of making sure children develop the skills they’ll need as they grow up.

Do you remember what your favourite childhood play was? 😊

🔸 Why is my child throwing things? Maybe it sounds like a simple question.

💥 We often think we know. We may even assume that the child wants to spite us, but it is practically never a conscious decision - „Mom won’t let me do something, so as a protest I’ll do something to make her feel bad.” And although children often throw anger at us, it is a simple impulse, often the only possible way for a child’s immature brain to cope with strong emotions. Just like hitting or biting. The child does not want to destroy/hurt/anger.

Thinking about the reasons why children throw will help us react more calmly and consciously in the future, e.g.
- in case of a child’s frustration, not getting drawn into strong emotions, but enabling a safer way of regulation and helping with your attitude
- in case of the need for exploration - giving a safe alternative for their throwing needs

🔎 More about reacting - ready-made solutions and what exactly you can tell your child - in the next posts.

 

For a moment it all looked so nice.

There was coloured rice and soil, sticks and stones and straw. You bought a beautiful toy wolf and three little pigs. You built charming houses. It was a lovingly-constructed scene.

What fun your child would have recreating the story of The Three Little Pigs!

Cue the big reveal.

She was delighted.

For about a minute.

And then she saw the chance for some sensory play.

And then it was time to explore the posting schema. How many pigs can fit into the house of bricks? How about the wolf? And the ladder? And what about all that coloured rice... Interesting!

What went wrong?

It wasn't your child's idea. She loves fairytales but in that moment her interests lay elsewhere.

All that hard work down the drain.

If that sounds familiar, you're not alone. We've all done it. We imagine the pleasure our creation will give and we forget that the best fun is the fun you make for yourself.

With that in mind, here are five tips for cutting the prep whilst keeping the joy:

Tip #1: Only build part of it. If you think your child might like to retell the story of the Three Little Pigs, put three toy pigs and wolf in the tuff spot (builder's tray). Add piles of sticks, pebbles (or wooden blocks or Lego) and grass or shredded paper. Your child will take care of the rest.

Tip #2. Vary materials. Use a variety of sensory-rich materials that invite touch, movement, and experimentation. From water beads to clay, different textures and tools can ignite a child's curiosity.

Tip #3. Find a quiet spot. It's no fun to find a rampaging toddler has destroyed your scene. Set up in an out-of-the way corner, away from human wrecking balls. If your child believes her work is safe, she feels confident to play for longer, to take more risks and make deeper investigations.

Tip #4. Allow for open-ended outcomes. You imagined the Kingdom of Sweets; your child prefers a construction site. Go with the flow. The learning happens in the exploration.

Tip #5. Keep it fresh. New materials spark new lines of inquiry. But that doesn't mean you have to get out the credit card. The kitchen cupboard and the recycling bin are your friends. Pots, pans, egg cartons, dried beans; cocktail sticks, pasta and sweets. Build castles with bread, make a witch from a cork.

BONUS TIP: Keep it simple. Three empty yoghurt pots works just fine to house the pigs. It doesn't have to be pretty. All you need is a way to enclose space. Pigs inside, wolf outside. Job done. Your child doesn't care.

Ultimately, your child's age will decide what kind of learning takes place. A toddler investigates materials and their properties. A preschooler is on the road to imaginative play. Don't waste your time creating elaborate fantasy lands for a child that is too young to engage with it.

Congratulations.

You now have an independent self-starter who makes her own fun.

:) Alexis

How do you learn to draw a circle?

First, you have to live it.

Put your arms out to the side and spin.

What is it like to hold? What is the difference between a ring and a coin?

How does it feel to walk over one, to go over a bridge that curves up and then down, to experience the ground rising beneath you and then falling away.

Before you can draw a circle - or make any kind of mark - you have to have a feel for what it is. You need first-hand, physical experience of it. You have to understand the form and what it can do.

In this series of posts, we are looking at letter formation as we get ready for school. Not handwriting practice, not rows upon rows of tracing and copying, but drawing. Stick men and suns, and car wheels and lollipops.

What can you see in the room right now that might give your child a sense of what a circle might be? Take a multisensory approach. The more ways you encounter it, the richer your understanding.

Can you move your body or an object in a circular way? In what way can a sound go around? Can light spin?

Do you remember the first time you tried to write the letter 'o'? It was hard work to make the curve smooth and even! How tricky to make the line come back to its starting point! Your first attempt was probably more like a spiral than a circle.

But what if you had practised circular movements through play? How much easier it was! You already had a 'feel' for how the shape was made. You were free to focus on pencil grip and resting the letter on the line.

:) Alexis