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Happy father's day, thank you for fathering us

We see it all

Dear Booless spirikoko aunties,

To be honest, it is just so frustrating how some of you make the wooing process look soo complicated, we know that winning your heart is not suppose to be a walk in the park, but it is also not fair how you make the whole thing look like winning the world cup. To make things easier, there are a few things we single Christian guys would like for you to know when we come asking you out;

#1...If you’re interested please make it obvious, at least a little bit. Don't expect us to magically know how you feel about us just like that, we are not mind readers. Give us clues to pickup if you are feeling a positive vibes, do not show that you're pushing us away and do not make it too obvious that you are interested either, a smart guy will know when you're standing in the middle. 😊😊

#2…And, like I said, we can't read your mind. So don't try to assume that we have the mind reading ability of Prophet Elijah.

#3... If you’re not interested don’t play games. Let us know you are already committed to someone else, or not ready yet to commit to a relationship. We don't like it when we are friend zoned with brother John, brother Okon, Papa James, bro bro bro.

#4... Be yourself, and celebrate your uniqueness. Don’t try to be something you’re not to please us, or win our affection. As believers we have already told God about you before coming forward with our feelings, so be natural when you're around us, we are already in love with who you are.

#5...If we ask you out, do us the favor by actually responding. Even if it is a no – it might hurt, but then we would know that God's got a hand in it. Don't tell us you need 40 days to fast about our proposal, there is no harm in us been friends even while you wait to hear a word from God concerning me.

#6...Don’t flaunt yourself. modesty is still attractive to a lot of us Christian guys. We can't hear what God is saying about you when you are dressed half naked.

#7... Take the risk. Sometimes we are careful to ask you out on a date becasue we are not sure how you will take it since we are still trying to build the friendship, so take a the risk sometimes, suggest we do something together, like hanging out at a park or going to the movies, trust me, we will agree quickly, and we are ready to pay the bills 😀😀

#8...flirt with us a little. Yea, yea, don't take that wrongly, by flirting with us we mean be interested in our conversations, laugh at our jokes no matter how boring, a little pat on the arm when we are kidding around is also a good sign that you are comfortable around us, that is how we know you like us too, and it encourages us to keep pushing.

Kind regards,

F: Association of Bae-less Christian Uncles

When I was about three months pregnant, I realized my husband wasn't comfortable getting close to me. At night when we slept, he would sleep at the edge of the bed, far away from me, as though we were enemies trapped in the same cell. I would draw closer to him, put my hand around him, and sleep. By the time I woke up again, he would be lying behind me and closer to the wall. I didn't understand it, so I called a meeting about it.

"Dear, what's wrong? You always create space between us when we sleep. Have I done something wrong?"

He responded, "No, you haven't. You're pregnant now, and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize the pregnancy."

I bought into his explanation. We'd been trying for a baby for almost four years until this one came along. When you try and try and try and it finally arrives, you treat it with all the care in the world. I told him, "Holding me while we sleep doesn't hurt the baby in any way. Being intimate during pregnancy is still healthy."

Intimacy became few and far between until I gave birth. About three months after I'd given birth, I realized I was always in the mood for some action, but my husband always found excuses not to do it.

That wasn't my husband. Don't fill a woman with questions. She won't sleep until she finds answers to those questions. I started digging, even in places that didn't need digging. I didn't find any evidence.

"Maybe I'm chasing my own shadow," I said.

One night while he was asleep, I picked up his phone and went through it. There was one particular number he had called at least three times a day throughout the week. Her name was Thess.

I went to his WhatsApp looking for messages between him and Thess. I took my time and went through their messages one after the other. I saw the flirty messages and the half-nude photos the lady had been sending him. He had been telling the lady I was the one denying him when he had been the one building a Wall of Gibraltar between us.

He woke up and saw his phone in my hands. He asked, "What are you doing with my phone?

I said, "Who's Thess? No need to lie. I've read all your messages. She's the reason you don't touch me anymore?

He pulled me in and tried to apologize. I broke free and screamed at him, "Don't touch me with your filthy hands."

The baby squirmed and began crying. I picked him up and left the bedroom. He followed us and kept asking me to forgive him.

"I'm ashamed of everything. It will never, ever happen again." I wasn't listening to him. While my mind was deep in thought, trying to decide my next step, he was down on his knees begging and making all sorts of promises. Somehow, I was enjoying how miserable he looked and how a man of his stature could kneel and beg.

One morning he didn't go to work. He said, "I didn't go to work so we could use today to resolve this. Do whatever you want to do to me, but please don't leave me. I messed up but don;t mess us up."

The pain of what he did went deep to the core, especially because he had been denying me all along. For about a week, we didn't say a word to each other. And when we finally did, I insulted him. I called him names; cheap, hoe, idiot, any insult that came to my mind, I dished it out to him, but he kept saying sorry.

It's difficult to fight a man who's not fighting back. I calmed down. We started talking, and he started making promises. "It's unfortunate I had to go through all this just to know how much I want this marriage. Trust me, it won't happen again, just give me a chance."

From that day on, whenever the baby cried at night and I woke up, he would wake up with me and ask if there was something he could do to help. After breastfeeding, I would leave the baby with him and go back to sleep. He would walk around, singing lullabies until the baby fell asleep before he finally slept. He came home with gifts. All of a sudden, I felt the way I used to when we were dating, but I kept getting flashes of his infidelity.

It's not easy to let go of the pain caused by a cheating partner. No matter how much they change afterward, you still carry a scar that reminds you of what your partner is capable of. I found myself sneaking through his phone, checking his messages just to be sure. Even when I didn't see any traces of cheating on his phone, I convinced myself he had deleted the flirty messages.

But his actions toward me remained genuine and those were the things that kept my mind at ease. I didn't leave. Two years after the incident, he keeps trying to win me over every day. Now he worships the ground I walk on and tries so hard not to put a foot wrong.

On our anniversary last year, he said, "Thank you for forgiving me. You're the reason we Have a marriage."

Currently, I'm six months pregnant, but he doesn't hold back. Every night and day, there's action. We are like lovers who found each other just yesterday.

Too bad I had to go through such pain to rediscover the love he had always had for me. I'm not sharing my story for you to condone cheating in a loving relationship. No.

I'm sharing my story to let you know that true forgiveness is only possible when repentance is genuine.

And the peace of God that passes human understanding shall keep your mind and heart

Your week is blessed and lines are falling into pleasant places for you

You have been married for only six months, and you are still trying to understand how to live with this person. Yet this person has been living a certain way for 29 years, and you have been living your own way for 31 years. Do you really expect there to be no friction?

Of course there will be disagreements.

And I pray that God blesses you with good friends—friends who won't make you feel like they never went through the same challenges themselves.

I've said this before: my wife and I agreed long ago that we are not part of the "power couple" image people like to project. We glory in our infirmities.

I remember a video where I was playing the piano and singing "Exalted." At one point, I carried my wife while still playing. Some people went into the comment section and wrote things like, "Lord, bless me with a husband like this."

I looked at the comment and thought, "Be careful what you pray for."

A husband like what exactly?

Honestly, I can't even marry me!

I'm not joking.

There are days when my wife and I don't spend up to one hour talking. Not because we are fighting—I simply don't have the time. Yet someone watches a short video online and assumes they know what our entire marriage looks like.

Listen, don't edit this part out. Leave it in.

Sometimes, if she comes upstairs while I'm upstairs, I'll go downstairs. If she comes downstairs, I'll go upstairs. I'll lock myself in a room.

Why?

Because I need space to think and be productive.

Now imagine the irony. When we first started dating, both of us were unemployed. And you know what unemployed people do? They talk!

We talked for at least eight hours every day.

Can you imagine the shock? You spend hours talking to someone every day, then you get married, move into the same house, and suddenly the person locks themselves in a room. You're knocking on the door saying, "Open up!" and the response is, "I'm coming, I'm coming."

That can be difficult to process.

And let me add some balance here.

When you truly love someone, they can hurt you more deeply than a stranger would, even if both people did exactly the same thing. Why? Because your expectations are different.

You think, "I love you, so I wouldn't have done this to you."

Trust me, I'm speaking from experience.

But often, it is simply part of being human. The other person is not necessarily trying to hurt you; they may not even realize the effect of their actions.

During the dating phase, people are usually more tolerant. Everyone is on their best behavior. But once you get married and start living together, all the filters come off.

That's when you begin to see the real person.

And that's not a bad thing.

It simply means that both of you now have to learn each other honestly. You have to start communicating clearly:

"Okay, I know I said that was fine before, but now that we're living together, I realize that's not actually how I'm wired."

Marriage is not the discovery of a perfect person. It is the ongoing process of two imperfect people learning how to understand, adjust to, and love each other well.

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World cup 🏀🏀🏀