Ye the Teach

I’m a mom of two littles. One will be 3 in July. The other is 6 months.

I’ve been taking what I’ve been learning in my life as a whole and trying to find the common thread within my parenting.

Everything is connected. The lesson I’m learning over here has implications for the situation over there.

So, I’ve been studying my daughter (2.5) and her natural inclinations to get a better idea of where she needs to be challenged and where I need to grow to support her.

I’m learning that she has ways of asking for her need and behaviors she’ll lean into to increase the likelihood of her getting what she wants.

I’m learning the difference between her needs and wants.

At times, I found myself responding to all requests equally. But then, I’d end up with an emotionally confused kiddo once structure started being established and I’d be completely exhausted.

I can see how she asks for what she needs.
I can see how she asks for what she wants.

The answer to a need is always ‘yes.’
The answer to a want fluctuates and can only be a ‘yes’ if the needs are satisfied.

My husband pointed out that she eats too much of the foods that she really enjoys. It’s an easy trap to fall into as a parent. You learn what they like and you like feed it to them. Simple enough.

But what happens when they don’t want to eat foods that are good for them? That they need?

This happens when the needs vs. wants spectrum is out of balance.

I’m learning my daughter’s language. Behavior is language. And it is telling.

We’re currently working through the challenge of identifying her needs—visible and invisible—and how to be responsive to them.

Anytime I’m burning out in motherhood, there’s always a connection to me satisfying wants vs needs.

And don’t get me wrong, fulfilling needs can be arduous, but there is a satisfaction in meeting a need that does not come with meeting a want.

Fulfilling a ‘want’ is like water you’ll drink and be thirsty a little later, while meeting a need is like drinking living water.

Art by: According to Ye
Written by: Darveiye Woods