Death Defined with Matt Kwoka

"💬 Let’s talk funeral preferences…

What’s one thing you definitely wouldn’t want at your funeral?

No sad music?
No all-black dress code?
No long speeches?
Absolutely no fruit platter? 😅

Over the years, I’ve learnt that every person views a farewell differently, and that’s exactly how it should be.

Some people want a quiet, traditional service.
Others want storytelling, bright colours, live music or even a celebration by the beach.

There’s no one “right” way to say goodbye.
The most meaningful farewells are the ones that reflect the person being honoured.

I’d love to hear yours 👇

What do people really think about death?

It’s a conversation many of us avoid, until we’re suddenly faced with it.

Through our recent survey, we discovered that while many Australians feel uncomfortable talking about death, most also wish these conversations happened earlier, more openly and with less fear.

Avoiding the topic doesn’t make it easier.
But honest conversations can bring clarity, comfort and connection.

We believe there’s value in talking about death before we have to.

Read more through the link in our bio or here - https://deathdefined.com.au/media_center/what-do-people-really-think-about-death-2/

Working in funerals has taught me one universal truth…

Every family has:

• the organiser,
• the emotional one,
• the one asking about parking,
• and the cousin who somehow arrives late to everything 😅

Even life’s hardest moments remind us how wonderfully human families are🤍

I believe every older person deserves to feel safe, respected and valued.

Over the years, I’ve seen how important compassion, patience and dignity become as our loved ones grow older.

Tomorrow is World Elder Abuse Awareness Day - a reminder for all of us to look out for the older people in our lives, to listen carefully, support their wishes and make sure they feel seen and heard.

Sometimes care is practical support.
Sometimes it’s advocacy.
Sometimes it’s simply sitting down and taking the time to listen.

Every conversation matters.

I know grief can feel heavier during winter.

The colder days, quieter nights and slower pace can sometimes make feelings of loss feel even more present.

If this season feels emotionally difficult for you, please know you’re not alone.

I always encourage people to be gentle with themselves during this time of year. Small things can help, even if only a little:

• reaching out to someone you trust
• getting outside for fresh air
• keeping simple routines
• allowing yourself rest
• talking openly about how you’re feeling

There’s no timeline for grief, and no “right way” to move through it.

Take care of yourself this winter 🤍

Over the years, I’ve seen many men carry grief quietly.

So often, men feel pressure to stay strong for everyone else, even while navigating heartbreak, loss and emotional exhaustion themselves.

This Men’s Health Week, I want to remind the men in our community that looking after your mental and emotional wellbeing matters too.

I know grief can feel isolating. But talking to someone, going for a walk, checking in with a mate, or simply admitting you’re struggling can be an important step.

You don’t have to carry everything on your own.

Around you when it matters.

If you could choose one song to be played at your funeral, what would it be?

One thing I’ve learnt over the years...

No matter how organised someone was in life… there’s always one family member saying:

“He definitely would’ve wanted this song played.”

…followed by another saying:

“No chance.” 😂

Families might not always agree on the playlist, but the stories and laughter shared along the way are often the moments people remember most.

"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. The death of a beloved is an amputation." – C.S. Eliot