Divorcing With Sanity

Divorce is devastating, traumatising, emotional, crushing, shattering, overwhelming, damaging and utterly toxic. None of these adjectives are an exaggeration.

The strange thing is, we often think we have to deal with all of that alone!

In case you didn’t realise already - we don’t (have to deal with this alone). When my client found me, she was in the midst of drowning, and was certain divorce meant losing everything. Here’s what she said after coaching with me (see below).

The next step may FEEL impossible - but it is nearer to your reality than you know, if you would let me help you. DM me to book a call.

Call me crazy, but I talk to the universe and my guardian angels through symbols.

Once a month, I choose one of my hand-drawn symbols and keep my eyes peeled for it in the real world. They show up in the most unexpected places – company logos, graffiti, building structures, even the way shadows fall on the pavement (yes yes, I did say I am mad 🫣). When I spot one, it feels like a little wink from my guardian angels, an affirmation that I'm exactly where I need to be.

Sometimes I also use them as my own personal oracle deck. I'll pull a symbol when I need guidance, and somehow the universe always delivers the message I need to hear.

It might sound odd to some, but this practice grounds me, and is by no way any kind of woo-woo witchcraft or fortune telling. It's my way of creating magic out of nothing, of believing in the invisible connections that hold us all together. These symbols are my language with the cosmos – abstract, intimate, and entirely mine.

The even madder thing is, it has worked so well for me for helping me feel more supported in crisis, that I have begun working with my clients to create their own oracles to access their inner wisdom.

It’s a very liberating process!

If you are going through divorce and would also like to explore a way to liberate yourself from the emotional mess - DM me and let’s talk.

You're an expat teacher going through divorce and your job, visa, child, your self-identity and wellbeing all hanging on a thread. I'm a divorce coach who works with women like you, to help you maintain your sanity and find a way forward.

If you’ve been wanting to take a breath from the chaos and find the road to peace, I’m the perfect person to reach out to. DM me and let’s have a chat?

It’s the first Father’s Day since the divorce started. What do you do?

In the years before, it was simple. A card from your daughter, a lunch, a photo for the family group. This year the man is in another flat, the marriage is ending, and you genuinely don't know if you're meant to organise anything at all.

If you don’t, you feel guilty. Not to mention you have to be on your ‘best behaviour’ to meet the criteria for co-parenting as the divorce battle is ongoing.

But he really is a terrible father (and person, for that matter)! Your secret wish is to whisk your child away and never have to involve that man in you or your child’s life ever again, and you live happily ever after.

And then you feel guilty for thinking that.

Or maybe you feel nothing. And then feel guilty for feeling nothing.

This cycle of thoughts repeat in your mind over and over again as you invigilate an exam in school, while you’re out grocery shopping, and when you brush your teeth. It suddenly feels like there’s a huge moral decision weighing on you, and that’s the last thing you have bandwidth for.

So annoying that even with the divorce, ‘he’ continues to bring trouble into your life.

What can I say, divorce is not easy.

If you would like support in keeping your sanity, shall we talk? (DM me to book a call)

Imagine waking up on a school Monday and not feeling the dread of the divorce in your chest before you even get out of bed.

Imagine going to work without your mind playing on repeat all the ways you need to talk to the lawyer or negotiate terms with your soon-to-be-ex-husband, and without having to talk yourself into being okay before you walk through the gate.

Imagine getting through a parent meeting, a staff briefing, a full teaching day, and going home at the end of it not because you survived it with brute strength, but because you were actually present in it.

This happiness is not a fantasy version of your life. It is what it looks like when you stop pushing yourself through the wrong things and start doing some small things that actually help change how you feel.

You do not need another fantastic journaling self-help or another divorce support group. What you need is a different approach that works. If this sounds like the kind of day you are ready to have, DM me and let's talk.

Most coaches who work with women going through divorce are good at what they do. They understand grief, they understand transitions, they know how to ask the right questions.

What they don't know is what it means to stand in front of 30 children on a Tuesday morning when your court date was the evening before. They don't know what it feels like to smile through a parent meeting while your visa status is hanging by a thread.

I do. Because I lost my job when I was going through my own divorce, because I kept pushing through instead of letting myself fall apart safely.

That's not a qualification you get in a classroom. It's something your body experiences.

If you're an expat teacher going through this and you want to talk to someone who already understands the terrain, I'm here. DM me to book a free 30min chat.

Are you leaving your career behind along with your divorce? When you are an expat teacher going through a divorce, your job is not just your job. It is your visa, your custody argument and your financial lifeline. It is the one thread holding everything else together.

So you hold on tighter. You sit at your desk at 12am staring at a pile of marking in paralysis, almost in tears because you don’t know how to begin clearing them. Yet in school, you say yes to leading the school celebration even though you can barely breathe. You tell yourself this is what strength looks like.

Let me tell you that it is not. This is your soul bleeding out slowly, term by term, opportunity by opportunity. As this continues, the gap between you and your less-experienced colleagues widens. They move nearer to career progression while you stay stuck.

It may be hard for you to realise this now, but your career can survive a well-managed break. In fact, it probably will have a much harder time recovering from two years of stubbornly trudging through in survival mode.

If this sounds like you, shall we talk? DM me to book a call.

The first time your child goes to stay with their dad, you don't know what to do with yourself. The flat is too quiet, you clean things that don't need cleaning, you imagine every conversation and every bit of fun that they are having together.

Stop! Here’s what to do instead.

Book a staycation for yourself. You don’t have to climb pyramids or hike across continents - just a nice place where you can let out all the bad habits that someone will clean up the next morning.

My recommendation is PARKROYAL COLLECTION Pickering. Infinity pool, garden terraces, city views at sunset - a proper treat without being overwhelming.

Just remember: you did not end up alone. You ended up with yourself. There is a difference, and that difference matters.

Go go go!