Study Room

For females, we often use words like maternal to describe someone who is caring and nurturing.

How about males?

Avuncular.

It describes someone who is warm, approachable and supportive, much like a favourite uncle or mentor.

Use this in your next essay to describe a father figure, teacher or mentor who has been a pillar of support in your life.

We discuss a useful English word every Monday on Capital 958 DJ 淑君 Shu Jun’s show on Mediacorp CAPITAL 958 城市频道.

Every time I want to buy my father something, my dad will decline my offer.

"I am a simple man," he would tell me.

"If I accumulate too many things, you will be the one who has to clear them when I am gone," he would add.

The selflessness.

The consideration.

The nobility.

I am blessed to have such a great father whom I can look up to and depend on as I grow up.

I like to see him as someone who embodies what fatherhood is about.

At Study Room, the dads do play a part in education too.

While it’s the mothers who arrange for tuition classes most of the time, the fathers have specific roles to play too.

He is the designated driver.

The one to stand by the mother when the mum has a quarrel with the child.

The one who tries to maintain harmony in the family by getting all parties to take a breather and look the other way.

And what do fathers usually want in return?

Uninterrupted naps, peace and quiet when he's back home, and our safety and happiness.

Thank you to the fathers of the world for being the yang to the mothers' yin, balancing harmony at home and being a pillar of support to your children.

A 19 year-old former student met up with me for a meal. He spoke to me about "face" and ego. He told me that some of his friends wouldn’t consider a particular university because it wasn’t prestigious enough. "No face" to get into that school, he said.

To be honest, he is not the first.

Over the years, I’ve heard many students say similar things.

They felt embarrassed about getting into a subject combination others didn’t find appealing.

They felt inferior about their CCA or the stream they were in if it wasn’t deemed prestigious.

They felt sad that the JC they go to isn’t the perceived elite school in everyone’s mind.

My response is simple: don’t care about face. Life is too short to obsess over what others think.

The student countered, saying face is important and influences careers.

I partially agree. Face may open a door, but it cannot keep you in the room.

Sometimes, we do not have the luxury of choices. Then, use every option available to you. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. It is illogical to obsess over face when your best bet should be to make full use of the opportunities available to you. Do the smart thing.

The opportunity cost of chasing prestige can be enormous. Some people reject courses they genuinely enjoy, turn down valuable opportunities, or make decisions based on status rather than suitability. In doing so, they may end up sacrificing what is actually best for them.

Also, those who judge you now will be gone from your life years later. What matters is how the option serves you today. If you are making a decision based on "face", that decision is often neither rational nor sensible. Remove the emotional burden and think clearly.

Twenty years later, nobody remembers what subject combination you took. Nobody remembers your CCA. Nobody remembers whether your school was considered elite. What remains are the skills you built, the relationships you formed, and the opportunities you seized.

Success comes from working smart, working hard, and staying focused on achieving your goals. Perception plays a part, but it is rarely the deciding factor.

More importantly, to be truly happy at the end of life, do what is best for you, not what pleases others.

How do you describe that arrogant boss who walks into the office as if he owns the place? Or, in an essay on global diplomacy, how would you describe a small state projecting confidence on the world stage?

Imperious.

It is a powerful word that can elevate your writing and impress examiners in your next essay.

Every Monday on Mediacorp CAPITAL 958 城市频道, Capital 958 DJ 淑君 Shu Jun and I explore words inspired by the week's headlines and discuss how you can use them effectively in your own writing.

There’s a viral Netflix TV show lately, Teach You a Lesson. It focuses on some exaggerated plots about how a teacher tackles unreasonable students and parents.

A friend recommended the show to me, saying I might resonate.

Thankfully, not really.

Culture matters. The parents and students who join us tend to share the same values and beliefs about learning. In the show, there was a parent who micromanaged a teacher, and students who bullied both classmates and teachers.

I would like to think good vibes attract good vibes. We have a good working relationship with our parents, and they entrust their children to us. I would also like to go on record to say that I have never disliked teaching any student. Some students may struggle academically, while others may be more talkative in class, but they are invariably kind and a joy to teach.

For this, I feel blessed and thankful. Teach You a Lesson may be highlighting some of the more challenging aspects of education, but I am grateful that Study Room has always felt like a family. Parents, students and teachers support one another, and that is something I never take for granted.

Question:

I feel demoralised that my child is not hitting AL1 in English even though he is putting in a lot of effort. To be fair to him, he has improved from AL4 to AL2, but his progress has plateaued. He doesn't seem to care. How do I get through to him that every mark is important?

Reply:

Congratulations that your son has improved by several grades in his English. It is not easy to see fast progress in languages because anything under the sun can be tested. Every comprehension passage and comprehension cloze is different.

This is a contrarian view. Be more positive. Celebrate the small wins. A progress of a few grades is exceptional. He is happy with it. I think that is important.

I understand that PSLE is a few months away. However, that does not mean that we do not have time to congratulate the boy on his resilience and rigour in reaching his new grades. I know PSLE is important in getting into a school of our choice, but even more importantly, the boy should have a memorable and happy childhood, thinking about how he aced his exams alongside support from his parents, not how he is constantly disappointing them regardless of how much effort he has put in.

Perhaps, he can be more driven.

However, soften the emotions. Disappointment is a strong word for someone who has improved. Remember to avoid bringing your own emotions into the picture. The key is always what is most optimal for the child.

Work with him to target the goal of AL1, but remember that rest is important too. Just like in sports, if we were to exercise around the clock, we would get injured too.

Your child is in a good state. Cherish that, and build happy memories and a strong bond with him in achieving excellence. Good luck.

Did you know the meaning of ceasefire?

Donald Trump went viral last week when he shared his views on what a ceasefire means. The episode sparked debate over how diplomatic language is interpreted, and how powerful states often shape the terms of global relations. In this case, even the definition of stopping armed conflict became a matter of discussion.

Food for thought for your GP essays: who gets to define the language of international affairs, and how does that influence the way conflicts are understood around the world?

Catch ‘s show on every Monday at 2.15pm as we unpack vocabulary that is useful for your daily life, current affairs awareness, and school essays.

Last night, I met a new friend who had recently started a tuition centre too, and we started talking about work. He asked about our students. I explained that, as Study Room's location does not have much foot traffic (we are not in a mall and are located in the middle of an ageing estate), we rely a lot on word of mouth, and we are very lucky to have many students who travel for us.

While we are near Braddell MRT, many of our students are from all across the island, ranging from Sengkang/Punggol and Yishun to Clementi and even as far as Pasir Ris. Some of these word-of-mouth referrals come from students who graduated eons ago, and the new student's parent will tell us about them, triggering fond memories.

For this week's gratitude post, we have to dedicate it to you.

Study Room quietly celebrated 12 years of classes this year, an entire zodiac cycle! Over the years, we have seen centres come and go. We would not have survived this competitive industry if YOU had not supported us and believed in us.

We thank you for that and promise to continue working hard to build on that trust.

Don’t come for classes this weekend! 😃

Have a good break and see you after you have recharged.

Studying for your O Levels or A Levels?

You know you should be locking in, but panic hasn't hit you yet.

Many years ago, Wei was exactly the same.

He got away with it.

You may not.

Read on to find out why.