Black Boy Joy Summit Boston

Arthur Thompson reminded us that if we are serious about raising whole boys, we cannot keep confusing punishment with transformation.

That distinction matters.

Punishment may stop a behavior for a moment.

But restorative practice asks a deeper question:

What does this child need to learn, repair, understand, feel, name, and practice so the behavior does not keep repeating?

In our Black Boy Joy Summit masterclass, Raising Whole Boys: A Masterclass in Restorative Parenting and Healing Relationships, Arthur Thompson of Connection Before Correction offered a powerful word for parents, educators, caregivers, mentors, coaches, and community leaders who are trying to love Black and Brown boys well in a world that is too often ready to discipline them before it understands them.

He said, “You tame them and you don’t shame them.”

That is not a slogan.

That is a framework.

Because shame does not build emotional intelligence.
Shame does not teach repair.
Shame does not create safety.
Shame does not make a boy whole.

Arthur challenged us to slow down, ask better questions, build emotional language, create safe spaces and safe words, listen to understand instead of listening to respond, and help our boys see that their actions have impact beyond the immediate moment.

He also named the truth many Black families know intimately:

Some of what we call parenting is really inherited survival.

Some of our elders loved us deeply, but did not always have the language, tools, tenderness, or emotional freedom to hug us, affirm us, apologize to us, or help us process what we were carrying.

That does not mean they failed us.

It means we have work to do now.

We can honor what our people survived and still choose not to pass every survival strategy to the next generation.

We can love our boys with boundaries.

We can teach consequences without humiliation.

We can build homes, classrooms, churches, teams, and communities where Black and Brown boys are not only corrected, but connected, affirmed, listened to, restored, and prepared to lead.

At Black Boy Joy Summit Boston, this is the work we believe in:

Building brave, rooted, human spaces where our children are not reduced to their behavior, our families are not reduced to their struggles, and our communities are not reduced to what systems have failed to see.

Our goal is not perfect boys.

Our goal is connected boys.

Whole boys.

Loved boys.

Boys who know they are enough, who know they are accountable, and who know they do not have to become hard to be safe.

Our boys are not broken. They just need the right crowns. 👑👑👑
Tomorrow is for them — and for every parent fighting to give them what they deserve.

Join me and the incredible Lynne & Justin Hurdle-Price for the Black Boy Joy Summit Masterclass — a powerful, practice-driven experience designed for parents navigating boys who are still building the tools to manage conflict in their lives.

This isn't just a conversation. This is a calling.

Together, we'll explore three crowns:
👑 Crown of Insight — Understanding the world your boy is navigating
👑 Crown of Action — Practical tools you can use right now
👑 Crown of Awareness — Seeing your son fully, so he can see himself

Black Boy Joy isn't a hashtag. It's a commitment. And tomorrow, we commit together.

📅 Tomorrow | Register today - https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/cQ1vEVhNTRGr0S4XPrsj5Q

🌸🖤 For every woman who looked into the eyes of a Black boy and saw the whole world —

Happy Mother's Day.

You are the reason he stands tall.
You are the reason he smiles boldly.
You are the reason he knows joy is his birthright.

To the biological mamas, the Godmothers, the surrogate mothers, the village women who stepped in and showed up — your love built something eternal.

From a proud Black Son: Thank you. We carry you with us everywhere we go. 💛

See you NEXT SUNDAY for our Live at 5 — because the celebration of Black Boy Joy never stops. 🙌🏾

I was watching Cross on Prime Video…

There’s a scene with Tavie that I can’t shake.

Detective Cross leans in and says:

“Everything you need to deal with bad stuff is already inside you. You hear me?
I can see it… superhuman strength. Superhuman.
You got courage. It’s in you.
And do you know why?”

Tavie looks back.

“Because mommy and daddy put it there.
They made you a superhero.”

…

I paused the show.

Because that wasn’t just for Tavie.

That was for me too.

And if I’m honest—
there are still moments where I need someone to remind me of what’s already inside of me.

Which made me think about the boys in our lives…

Because what I see—far too often—is them turtling.

They go quiet.
They shut down.
They pull back—not because they don’t care…

but because they’ve learned it’s safer.

Safer than being judged.
Safer than being misunderstood.
Safer than being wrong in a world that doesn’t always extend them grace.

So they:
– avoid eye contact
– give short answers
– hide their gifts
– carry pressure alone

And if we’re not paying attention…

we’ll mistake protection for defiance.

That’s the shift.

Because when a boy is turtling, he doesn’t need more pressure.

He needs:

Safety before solutions
Connection before correction
Consistency over criticism

He needs someone who will:

listen without fixing
ask instead of assume
celebrate when he speaks up
remind him—daily—who he is

Because confidence isn’t something we demand from our boys.

It’s something we build with them.

Moment by moment.
Conversation by conversation.
Relationship by relationship.

That’s why I created a simple playbook for parents, caregivers, and mentors—

Not to “fix” our boys…

but to help them come back to themselves.

If you’re raising, teaching, or loving a Black boy—

Don’t assume he knows who he is.

Remind him.
Reflect him.
Reinforce him.

Again.
And again.
And again.

Because the goal isn’t just for him to survive the world.

It’s for him to walk through it knowing he was built for more.

Hi All!

We will postpone our Live at 5 to later this week!

Will share details soon.

During our Live at 5 conversation this week, a mother asked a question that many parents are navigating:

*How do I help my son maintain confidence when he is corrected more often than girls in his classroom?*

When boys receive frequent correction, some begin to internalize the message:

“I am the problem.”

Instead of understanding:

“I made a mistake — and I can learn.”

In conversation with Arthur Thompson of ConnectionB4Correction, we shared several ways families can support boys in protecting their confidence while building accountability.

Some tools families can try:

Ask:
What do you think the expectation was in that moment?
What do you think the teacher needed?
What part would you handle differently next time?

Help clarify intention:
🖤 I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful.
🖤 I had a question.
🖤 I didn’t understand the directions.

Affirm strengths beyond correction:
🖤 I see how curious you are.
🖤 You care about fairness.
🖤 You have strong ideas.

Teach pause skills:
🖤 pause before responding
🖤 take a breath
🖤 raise hand instead of calling out
🖤 write thoughts down

Partner with teachers:
🖤 I want to understand classroom expectations so we can reinforce them at home.

Confidence grows when young people know mistakes are part of learning — not evidence of failure.

Share in the comments:
*What is something meaningful you needed to hear when you were growing up?*

Your words may help another family feel supported.

When Correction Impacts Confidence: Helping Black Boys Advocate for Themselves During our recent Live at 5 conversation, a mother asked a question that many families are quietly navigating:How do I help my son maintain confidence when h...