Better Than Before Divorce

💬 Andra's Answer: I assume you are concerned about looking ‘difficult’ to your lawyer? I ask because you don’t need to be worried about what your ex thinks. That’s his/her problem - not yours. Your job is to do your best to stay calm, protect your peace, and communicate with respect and clarity. In these instances, less is almost always more. The manipulative language you're describing sounds like it’s designed to bait you into a response or engagement.

Don’t bite! If you can stay focused on your BIFF response (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm), you will build new muscles that will serve you well, both during and post-divorce. Remove any editorial from your responses - share only the information that’s required and trust that it’s enough. You’re stronger than you think - and learning to rely again on your good intuition is part of the journey.

You aren't supposed to have all the answers right now. If the daily hurdles are leaving you completely drained, it might be a sign you need some additional support. Let's talk about it ⬇️

5 Signs A Divorce Coach Could Help For highly capable people who are used to successfully managing a busy and complex life, divorce coaching can help you begin to feel like yourself again.

The chance to spend a day learning from these three came my way, and I am so glad I took it. Amy Porterfield, Russell Brunson, and Stu McLaren brought the wisdom, generosity, and the kind of perspective that makes you rethink what's possible. A full day of soaking this in, and I am so grateful and inspired, and proud that this new group also raised money to fund a new school in Kenya through Village Impact.

Amy Porterfield Stu McLaren Russell Brunson Village Impact

Not every conflict comes from bad intentions. Sometimes it comes from pain, fear, or old survival patterns. This conversation matters🤍

Unexpected Behaviors That Fuel Conflict During Divorce | Divorce Coach Here are several, often unexpected behaviors you may notice during your divorce and how to gently redirect them.

Andra's Answer: First, do your best not to put pressure on yourself to feel unbothered or "normal." There will be many times you feel on edge, anxious, angry, or so mixed up you don't have the right words to describe it. Relieving yourself of that pressure alone can help you find steadiness.

Instead of striving for an absolute state of calm, try to narrow your focus on responding in a way that reflects your values and who you want to be during this process. That reframe can help, even when your heart is racing and you feel triggered.

Every time you manage a tough moment in a way you feel good about, you rebuild your confidence and take back your power. Let those small wins add up. I promise, you are stronger than you think!

Challenge for today: What is one kind, affirming thing you can say to yourself right now? Drop it in the comments! 💛

A: The most honest answer is that you probably can't hide all of it. What you can do is focus on how they see you manage hard things: how you talk about their other parent, how you handle a hard moment when they're in the room, and whether you let your frustration take over your time together. Kids don't need to see you handle this perfectly - they’ll benefit from seeing you persevere during something difficult. There's real value in watching a parent navigate something genuinely hard with steadiness and care.

You aren't "breaking" your family; you're restructuring it. 🛠️ Your kids are more resilient than you think, and your happiness matters, too.

Read more on this week's blog here:

How Divorce Actually Affects Children | Better Than Before Divorce This is a common worry for parents who are divorcing or considering separation. This blog goes over the effects of divorce vs "staying for the kids".