English with Mark H

To be wholly clear: you deserve a lot of credit for your hard work. You do. Success is never an accident, and you’ve worked hard for everything you’ve achieved.

And so has everyone else applying to college.

Among college applicants, good work ethic is by far the most common trait.

So trying to make the case that you stand out by writing a college essay that proves you’re just like everyone else is, at best, counterproductive.

You’re much better off writing about something that makes you special.

If you’d like a free guide to starting and finishing your college essay, as well as a free guide to the 5 things elite college essays do differently and better, as well as a stack of 50 mediocre college essays (many of which brag about work ethic), just:

1. Make sure you’re following this account.
2. Make double-sure you’re not among the 10% of respondents who want free guides but don’t follow the steps in order.
3. Comment “OMG.”

If you follow the steps in order, my automated assistant will send you all three.

It really does hurt my heart (and my brain) to read essays that have genuine potential but then spiral into chaos—usually as a result of procrastination and distraction.

If your goal is to produce a piece of writing that will make a material difference in your life, you owe it to yourself to invest some time and energy in genuine proofreading and editing.

If you’re new here, I’m Mark, and I know of what I speak. I’ve spent 25 years helping students improve their writing and get into their dream colleges.

If you’d like a free guide to things you should do once you finish a college essay draft, as well as a free guide to what elite college essays do differently, just:

1. Make sure you’re following this account.
2. Make sure you do not skip step 1.
3. Comment “EDIT.”

My automated assistant will send you those free guides, plus a bonus guide.

I was already having a great day; and then I saw that properly used semicolon.

In such a good mood I’ve got a wild offer for you. Every writing and college essay guide in my Stan store is now free.

If you want to learn:

* the writing fundamentals you should have been taught in middle school
* the persuasive essay skills you should be taught in high school
* the college essay tips that will help you write elite college essays

The guides in my store are for you. If you would like access to them all, just:

1. Make sure you’re following this account.
2. Do not move on to step 3 until you’ve completed step 1.
3. Comment “RICO.”

My automated assistant will send you the link to my store. (Full disclosure: there is one item you can purchase there; it’s my book on writing winning college essays.)

These phrases in the average “Why Us?” college essay are diabolical.

You might very well feel like using these phrases, but remember three things:

1. It’s a near-certainty that admissions officers are long past tired of reading these particular phrases.
2. These phrases are tired, and read as insincere.
3. The “Why Us?” essay should be about you marketing yourself, not repeating the school’s marketing.

If you would like a free guide to other words and phrases you should avoid in your college essay, as well as a free guide to starting and finishing your college essay, and a free guide to 5 things elite college essays do better and differently, just:

1. Make sure you’re following this account.
2. Remember to complete step 1 before moving on to step 3.
3. Comment “IDEAL.”

My automated assistant will send you all three.

To get a more complete list of college essay no-go words, just:

1. Make sure you’re following this account.
2. Let it sink in that I put step 1 before step 3.
3. Comment “BUTTER.”

If you follow those steps in order, my automated assistant will send you that free college essay guide, as well as my guide to how to start and finish your college essay, and my free guide to the 5 things elite college essays do differently and better.

And if you follow this account, you’ll never miss any of the best college essay content on this app. So.

Once again for the people in the back: ChatGPT is not good at writing college essays.

And I can prove it.

As an experiment, I created a collection of 50 mediocre college essays, and relied HEAVILY on ChatGPT for the ideas and ex*****on.

Want to see what they look like?

And while I’m at it, want a free guide to starting and finishing your college essay?

And a free guide to the 5 things that elite college essays do differently and better?

To get all three, just:

1. Make sure you’re following this account.
2. Don’t skip step one, because a) this account has the best college essay content on this app, and b) skipping step one prevents my automated assistant from sending you the guides.
3. Comment “GRILL.”

My automated assistant will send you all three.

Help me out, because I’m no fan of the show: does this analogy work as well as I think it does?

Let me know in the comments.

And if you want help crafting an elite college essay pitch, I have several free guides that can help. If you’d like to download them, just:

1. Make sure you’re following this account.
2. But really, because this account has the best college essay content on this app, and also my automated assistant can’t send guides to accounts that don’t follow this one.
3. Comment “SHARK.”

My automated assistant will send you:

1. My guide to what elite college essays do differently and better
2. My collection of what mediocre college essays look like
3. My guide to starting and finishing your college essay

Or better yet, say these things every day, or at least say them a lot and often.

Happy Mother’s Day 💙

Save this for yourself, and send it to a friend who thinks great college essay’s first sentences need to be melodramatic.

And follow for more of the best college essay content on this app.

🚨 Rare FREE guide alert 🚨

I put together a fuller and decent list of words and phrases to avoid in college essays.

If you would like to download it, and two of my other most popular free college essay guides, just:

1. Make sure you’re following this account.
2. Actually make sure before you move on to step 3, because a) this page has the best college essay content on this app; and b) my automated assistant can’t send free guides to accounts that don’t follow this one.
3. Comment “GRACE.”

My automated assistant will send you three free college essay guides:

1. Words and phrases to avoid
2. How to start and finish your college essay
3. 5 things elite college essays do differently and better.

ChatGPT is not good at college essays, and I’ll prove it to you.

I used ChatGPT to create a series of mediocre college essays. (Full disclosure: I did a *liffle* bit of the writing.)

If you want to read these things, I can send them to you.

And I can also send you my free guide to starting and finishing your college essay, and my free guide to the 5 things elite college essays do that just good college essays don’t.

If you want all three of those free guides, just:

1. Make sure you’re following this account.
2. Make sure you don’t skip step 1.
3. Do step one before step 4.
4. Comment “SHARK.”

My automated assistant will send you all three.