Melinda Taylor, LLC

I wanted to share a blog I wrote about "Surviving the Summer with your Kids that need Routine." I hope you find it useful! Give yourself some grace out there mommas!

Summer Fun… or Survival Competition?

If you're the parent of a child who thrives on routine during the school year, summer can feel like an episode of Survivor. Except instead of trying to win immunity and stay in the fight, you're begging Jeff Probst to s***f your torch so you can go sit at base camp and chill. Leave the challenge to someone else — I'll take the Applebee's!

I'm in several parent groups, and one week into summer, I'm already seeing a common thread: "How are you surviving the summer with your kids?" A repeated response? "Have a daily schedule or routine for them." Okay, Supermom! Great if that works for you — but I live in the real world, where life is unpredictable and a schedule lasts about an hour before all hell breaks loose.

Most of you who've followed me know I'm a seasoned special education teacher and advocate with a special interest in early childhood and classroom management. Trust me — I know about schedules and routines and how important they are for all kids, especially those navigating learning differences. I'm in no way mocking the importance of routine; I wouldn't have been successful in my classroom without a structured (and fun) approach. What I am saying is this: trying to force real life into a specific routine isn't functional, and you'll drive yourself crazy trying to live that way.

So what's the solution? I've developed what I call the "Not a Schedule" Schedule. Let me explain.

Every day, give your kids options — both verbally and visually — for things they could do that day. Let them pick at least one thing they'd like to do, so they have some control over how their day goes. Some fun, free-choice options: play a board game, go to the park or the pool, build a pillow fort, do an art project or an experiment, watch a movie, play a video game together. Not every option has to be fun, though. Some can simply read: clean your room, empty the dishwasher, play by yourself, rest, practice an instrument, do a school workbook. It's important that kids keep up with their responsibilities over the summer, too.

Now that they know the day's options, what do you do with them? Let's be real: mapping out your entire day is nearly impossible. But you can almost always say what you're doing right now and what you're doing next — kind of like a first-then chart. Tell and show your kids, with a visual: "Right now we are doing ___. Next we will ___." If you have a child who constantly needs to know but WHEEEN is next?, add a timer or a picture of a clock to the visual.

As you finish each activity, move "Next" into the "Right Now" spot, then choose what comes after that. Include your child in the choosing whenever you can — it makes them feel important, and it lets them decide when to tackle the less pleasant tasks of the day. When kids have ownership over their day, they're far more likely to comply when it's time to give Mom a break or get their chores done.

If you have a child who struggles with independent play — or who announces "I'm bored" on repeat — keep a list of things they can always access during those times. When they complain, redirect them to the list. If they say they don't want to do anything on it, my go-to response is usually, "Well, then figure something out on your own. If you can't, there's some dog p**p in the backyard that needs picking up." That tends to end the boredom the moment I start threatening chores.

Ultimately, kids need to learn how to be bored. I know for a fact my mother didn't entertain me every second of every day. With today's technology, kids have gotten used to instant gratification, and teaching patience has almost become a thing of the past. Trust me, I know this can cause behaviors — but it's worth it for the life skills it builds.

Beyond just being clear about right now and next, I do think certain routines help during the summer. Build a consistent "getting ready" routine. It doesn't have to happen first thing every morning, but when you tell your kids, "Okay, it's time to get ready," they have a routine to follow. Same goes for bedtime. Be flexible on the timing, but keep the routines built into your daily activities.

Bottom line: give yourself a break. You don't have to be perfect this summer, Mom. Your kid doesn't have to be happy and entertained 24/7. You'll both survive the tantrums and meltdowns when things don't go their way. Involve your kids in the planning and the choices — give them ownership, and their compliance goes up. You don't have to be Supermom to survive the summer. You just have to find what works for you and provide consistency where you can. It's just as important for kids to learn that life isn't always predictable — and a little adaptability will serve both of you well in the long run.

Sometimes advocacy looks like going to a comedy show!

If you've never watched Ahren Belisle Comedy.... you should! I've followed him for a while now. He is an absolutely brilliant comic with impeccable timing. He is a former software engineer, and as impressive as that field is, he has definitely made a good choice moving into comedy...we all left in stitches last night! 

Some of his comedy touches on the fact that he is constantly underestimated because of his cerebral palsy and the fact that he uses an AAC app on his phone to communicate.  Parents and teachers, don't underestimate your kids.  If your child is nonverbal that doesn't mean they don't have things to communicate. It's just finding what works for them to find their voice!

Seriously, check him out. He is in Addison today and tomorrow! I truly think he's one of the best comics out there right now Disability or not. 

Some exciting news to share: I’ve just finished the first draft of my book — and it’s all about something close to my heart and central to my work: communication between teachers and parents.

Anyone who’s sat at an ARD table or navigated an IEP knows that strong, clear communication between home and school changes everything for a child. This book is my way of putting years of that work into something families and educators can hold onto.

It’s still early — editing and publishing come next — so I’m keeping the details under wraps for now. But I couldn’t wait to let you know it’s on its way.
Stay tuned. I can’t wait to share more. 💛

Back from vacation and ready to help clients get what they need for their kiddos!